my journey by "d"

I have always wanted to become a teacher but it took me a long time to become one. Over the years i also pondered on my trails; on my journey in life. it wasn't just tough, it was really like journeying through the wilderness. i wasn' t that brave i know. i was just so determined. in some part of my life, i would have considered the medicine or any medical courses had it not been for financial constraints. my inclination and interest for medicine was so deep not because i wanted to become famous in this field but it was all because of wanting to treat my pop from his paralysis which caused him physical disability and memory loss. the drive to achieve what i wanted in life was so intense but the force which tried to pull me down was equally strong or... even stronger. honestly, getting into college during those years was like climbing Mt. Everest. i guess everybody would agree with me especially when you only have a mother to take care of her 7 children and an ailing husband. She was a freelance laundry woman and sometimes a vender of native delicacies which she acquired in consignment basis at the super crowded carmen market or in a sidewalk at an elementary school near our house. she had to do a lot of moonlighting to be able to feed all nine mouths at least twice a day.

growing up in this kind of life had made me question God. life was not only hard, it was really miserable. questions kept flying in my head and they were left unanswered for quite sometime, the reason why i didn't get to enjoy my high school life plus the painful fact that i had been cheated by the only person whom i thought have really loved me. i was so filled with remorse and hatred that i found myself so broken and spilled out. i have never been so lost in my life as i had been during these moments. i was groping in the dark trying to get hold of myself. again, questions were innumerable, my pain so immense and my doubts extremely clouded my soul. my bitterness in life gradually ate me up and i woke up one day so sick, in fact dying, spiritually. i had to be healed. i succumbed to a challenge that has totally changed my life. it was a decision that turned my life colorful, filled with joy and purpose and above all, love and faith. my direction in life was so crystal clear. that was when i enrolled in a christian seminary. i have found my trail heading to purposeful direction.

i finished bachelor in theology after 4 years where i enrolled at a biblical seminary as full academic scholar for the entire college years. during these years, i have involved myself into missions both local and national, worked in a church as an associate minister, youth and music pastor and worked with foreign missionaries, youth and children especially in creative and performing arts. back then, life was so close to perfect and fulfilling until i met my second boyfriend, the man of my dreams, my first and last kiss (hahaha), the man with whom i have entrusted my life and lifetime love. i married at the age of 24.

Life has changed. i had to give up my ministry and look for a greener pasture to survive. then one day, years after, i realized that my passion for the youth, for children, for counseling has not wavered. i decided to take another course and became a teacher. my decision was triggered by an unpleasant circumstance that i have experienced while at work. it brought me down again to my knees and sought for God's divine intervention. i saw His beautiful plans amidst the tragic events in my life. the song "God will make a way" is so real in my life. it says that"God will make a way when there seems to be no way...by the roadway in the wilderness He'll lead me...rivers in the desert will i see..." with 2 kids to raise, a working husband to take care of and a father to attend to, God arranged everything to my advantage. He ordered my steps.

I finished bachelor in secondary education with flying colors where i was absorbed as college instructor after my graduation with no hassles of applying for a job at all..i found myself incomparably happy and fulfilled with the profession i chose to tread upon after the vocation i have set aside for quite sometime.

My quest for learning did not stop. i finished M.A. in Education major in English and i keep on yearning for more, not for any selfish motives but for some wonderful plans awaiting ahead. i am now into my second masters degree. i am so blessed to have been granted a scholarship under CHED for M.A. in English Language Studies at MSU-IIT which i hope to finish by March 2010.

we may be trudging on rocky roads and rough hills along life's way; the treks may be so lonely and risky; we may be clouded with trials and obstacles; doors may be closed upon us, but rest assured that God will open the windows for us. God's grace is just sufficient and ever present for all of us.

To capsulize everything, life is a journey and he who walks with the True Guide in life will be able to find his way no matter how long, no matter how far our journey will be. AND as long as i live and as long as there is God as the center of my life, i shall continue with my journey.

Living Life by Janzcie

Psychiatry – cool and challenging
The PMA – rocks!
Medical School – the ultimate dream
Accountancy – every inch bloody, but well, only the tough makes it to the end.

Haha!

So you might have wondered what has become of me in all the 19 years since graduation from high school. Well, I once thought I’d try psychiatry. Always was fascinated at the thought of studying behaviors and getting into the minds of the mentally disturbed and getting into the minds of babies and toddlers…

Since I stepped on the Philippine Military Academy in Baguio in February 1990, I sort of, become obsessed at the thought of actually being there and be one of the graduates. I don’t know, but I loved the discipline and the uniform. Always have been a fan of William Shatner’s TJ Hooker. I always had this passion for guns and solving crimes, the action and the adventure and the thrill of playing with death and survival…Unfortunately, I was already four months preggy when the academy turned coed.

After high school, I enrolled in XU BS Biology, because I decided I was going to be a doctor and my parents were more than eager and proud to support me. On my second year, I transferred to Mountain View College, so I’d have all the time to study and give it my best shot. But in 1992, after enjoying the dominance and the recessiveness of heredity subjects, memorizing xylems and the phloems of botany, the mitosis and the meiosis of biology and after dissecting frogs and memorizing unspeakable scientific names, I have to give it up and get married… Kay love man lage…

In 1993, I went back to school, this time in Liceo, enrolling accountancy. Because accountancy requires less memorization but more analysis. Breastfeeding a baby and digging notes on late nights was tough, but I have to do it, or else, I’d end up being a plain housewife, which is simply not me… I can’t be at home all day and just tend to my husband’s needs and care for my baby. I mean, it is a responsibility but I just can’t afford to stay home and be “losyang”. That’s not really the issue, but I just can’t be home and wait for what is going to happen. It’s just not me. I can’t afford the thought of me, waking up in the morning and preparing breakfast, cleaning the house, preparing dinner and washing dishes every day (although I do that now, my way). What I abhor the most was staying idle and be in sessions with idle wives and rumor mongers.

Ever took exams with very high fever? I did. Financial Accounting 1 caused me that, or perhaps the teacher. There was so much pressure with the subject, because it’s the deciding point, the needle’s eye. You can only go on with accountancy if you made it in Financial Accounting 1. If not, there are other courses in tow.

The next year, 1994, I transferred to RMMC in General Santos but continued with accountancy and successfully made it in 1997 with a silver medal for “excellence in accountancy studies”. Wow! Big deal! That was number two from the class (there were two of us) and we (first three) were given a chance to review in Manila for the CPA board exams, the next three in Davao, all expenses paid by the school. But no, I didn’t make it. Yes, it frustrated me, a lot, I think I must have cried rivers. But life has to go on.

Now I think I’m lost. Lost and felt close to oblivion. Almost every dream was never realized. I never became a psychiatrist. Never became a PMAyer. Never a doctor and not a CPA.

I have become a mother, a wife, a mere employee. So what about that? Nothing. Just like anybody. Just like the majority. I never became somebody I wanted to be. Never became what class prophecies foretold. Never.

Twist or simply fate, I have no idea. All I know is, I am happy and I have every reason to be happy. I may have cried rivers for all the trials, but I have also laughed my loudest. I can never say I am most pitiful because I believe my pains are not the most painful and I couldn’t say I have lived my happiest because I see better lives. It’s my share of life’s colors, the dark and the bright, with shades of lights and pastels = beauty.

I never became somebody I wanted to be, but if you ask, I can share the lessons I have learned.

Lost and forgotten? I don’t think so. I am just here, living life and loving it.

share your story

folks, come to think of it...it has been almost 2 decades since this batch graduated from high school.yes, 19 years ago to be exact, these faces used to be innocent-looking, lean and slim, bouyant and carefree, daring and smart etcetera, etcetera. but look at us now, our images are the exact opposite (if not all) of what was and what we were...aren't these changes sign of old age? nope,progress i should say...it's not easy to gain weight and keep it trimmed this way (right jan?) oh well, at least (sour graping....shhh) we may be older but not aged and indeed growing sideward but hmmm (tsk tsk tsk) gracefully? Enough...

enough with all these concerns on our increase in body curves. this time, let's take a glimpse at our lives. how did we live our lives apart from each other all throughout these years? have we been good, better, or the best that we can be? have we really set our goals and hit our target? have we reached our stars? have we touched the sky? have we become the person that we dreamt to be? it doesn't really matter how many dreams we've dreamt and how many attempts we've made to reach our destiny...it doesn't quite matter what and where we are now...what matters a lot is the essence of facing our battles and everyday struggles in life. How did we go about fighting each obstacle in life? these are very important questions to ponder on so we could really be proud to say I MADE IT...WE DID IT!!! after all, the very essential part of living is not reaching the destiny but on how much lessons we have learned from our experiences that have brought us this far...our destiny will be much more appreciated when we had so much fun exploring the different angles in life amidst all odds and savor each bitter - sweet memory along life's way. it is only when we have gone through all these can we truly say life is so beautiful and worth all the pain and sacrifices! we want to learn from you...

it's about time that you tell your story.

hello one and all...

inviting all coc graduates to be part of this beautiful site....