Monday, July 27, 2009

my journey by "d"


I have always wanted to become a teacher but it took me a long time to become one. Over the years i also pondered on my trails; on my journey in life. it wasn't just tough, it was really like journeying through the wilderness. i wasn' t that brave i know. i was just so determined. in some part of my life, i would have considered the medicine or any medical courses had it not been for financial constraints. my inclination and interest for medicine was so deep not because i wanted to become famous in this field but it was all because of wanting to treat my pop from his paralysis which caused him physical disability and memory loss. the drive to achieve what i wanted in life was so intense but the force which tried to pull me down was equally strong or... even stronger. honestly, getting into college during those years was like climbing Mt. Everest. i guess everybody would agree with me especially when you only have a mother to take care of her 7 children and an ailing husband. She was a freelance laundry woman and sometimes a vender of native delicacies which she acquired in consignment basis at the super crowded carmen market or in a sidewalk at an elementary school near our house. she had to do a lot of moonlighting to be able to feed all nine mouths at least twice a day.

growing up in this kind of life had made me question God. life was not only hard, it was really miserable. questions kept flying in my head and they were left unanswered for quite sometime, the reason why i didn't get to enjoy my high school life plus the painful fact that i had been cheated by the only person whom i thought have really loved me. i was so filled with remorse and hatred that i found myself so broken and spilled out. i have never been so lost in my life as i had been during these moments. i was groping in the dark trying to get hold of myself. again, questions were innumerable, my pain so immense and my doubts extremely clouded my soul. my bitterness in life gradually ate me up and i woke up one day so sick, in fact dying, spiritually. i had to be healed. i succumbed to a challenge that has totally changed my life. it was a decision that turned my life colorful, filled with joy and purpose and above all, love and faith. my direction in life was so crystal clear. that was when i enrolled in a christian seminary. i have found my trail heading to purposeful direction.

i finished bachelor in theology after 4 years where i enrolled at a biblical seminary as full academic scholar for the entire college years. during these years, i have involved myself into missions both local and national, worked in a church as an associate minister, youth and music pastor and worked with foreign missionaries, youth and children especially in creative and performing arts. back then, life was so close to perfect and fulfilling until i met my second boyfriend, the man of my dreams, my first and last kiss (hahaha), the man with whom i have entrusted my life and lifetime love. i married at the age of 24.

Life has changed. i had to give up my ministry and look for a greener pasture to survive. then one day, years after, i realized that my passion for the youth, for children, for counseling has not wavered. i decided to take another course and became a teacher. my decision was triggered by an unpleasant circumstance that i have experienced while at work. it brought me down again to my knees and sought for God's divine intervention. i saw His beautiful plans amidst the tragic events in my life. the song "God will make a way" is so real in my life. it says that"God will make a way when there seems to be no way...by the roadway in the wilderness He'll lead me...rivers in the desert will i see..." with 2 kids to raise, a working husband to take care of and a father to attend to, God arranged everything to my advantage. He ordered my steps.

I finished bachelor in secondary education with flying colors where i was absorbed as college instructor after my graduation with no hassles of applying for a job at all..i found myself incomparably happy and fulfilled with the profession i chose to tread upon after the vocation i have set aside for quite sometime.

My quest for learning did not stop. i finished M.A. in Education major in English and i keep on yearning for more, not for any selfish motives but for some wonderful plans awaiting ahead. i am now into my second masters degree. i am so blessed to have been granted a scholarship under CHED for M.A. in English Language Studies at MSU-IIT which i hope to finish by March 2010.

we may be trudging on rocky roads and rough hills along life's way; the treks may be so lonely and risky; we may be clouded with trials and obstacles; doors may be closed upon us, but rest assured that God will open the windows for us. God's grace is just sufficient and ever present for all of us.

To capsulize everything, life is a journey and he who walks with the True Guide in life will be able to find his way no matter how long, no matter how far our journey will be. AND as long as i live and as long as there is God as the center of my life, i shall continue with my journey.



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