Psychiatry – cool and challengingThe PMA – rocks!
Medical School – the ultimate dream
Accountancy – every inch bloody, but well, only the tough makes it to the end.
Haha!
So you might have wondered what has become of me in all the 19 years since graduation from high school. Well, I once thought I’d try psychiatry. Always was fascinated at the thought of studying behaviors and getting into the minds of the mentally disturbed and getting into the minds of babies and toddlers…
Since I stepped on the Philippine Military Academy in Baguio in February 1990, I sort of, become obsessed at the thought of actually being there and be one of the graduates. I don’t know, but I loved the discipline and the uniform. Always have been a fan of William Shatner’s TJ Hooker. I always had this passion for guns and solving crimes, the action and the adventure and the thrill of playing with death and survival…Unfortunately, I was already four months preggy when the academy turned coed.
After high school, I enrolled in XU BS Biology, because I decided I was going to be a doctor and my parents were more than eager and proud to support me. On my second year, I transferred to Mountain View College, so I’d have all the time to study and give it my best shot. But in 1992, after enjoying the dominance and the recessiveness of heredity subjects, memorizing xylems and the phloems of botany, the mitosis and the meiosis of biology and after dissecting frogs and memorizing unspeakable scientific names, I have to give it up and get married… Kay love man lage…
In 1993, I went back to school, this time in Liceo, enrolling accountancy. Because accountancy requires less memorization but more analysis. Breastfeeding a baby and digging notes on late nights was tough, but I have to do it, or else, I’d end up being a plain housewife, which is simply not me… I can’t be at home all day and just tend to my husband’s needs and care for my baby. I mean, it is a responsibility but I just can’t afford to stay home and be “losyang”. That’s not really the issue, but I just can’t be home and wait for what is going to happen. It’s just not me. I can’t afford the thought of me, waking up in the morning and preparing breakfast, cleaning the house, preparing dinner and washing dishes every day (although I do that now, my way). What I abhor the most was staying idle and be in sessions with idle wives and rumor mongers.
Ever took exams with very high fever? I did. Financial Accounting 1 caused me that, or perhaps the teacher. There was so much pressure with the subject, because it’s the deciding point, the needle’s eye. You can only go on with accountancy if you made it in Financial Accounting 1. If not, there are other courses in tow.
The next year, 1994, I transferred to RMMC in General Santos but continued with accountancy and successfully made it in 1997 with a silver medal for “excellence in accountancy studies”. Wow! Big deal! That was number two from the class (there were two of us) and we (first three) were given a chance to review in Manila for the CPA board exams, the next three in Davao, all expenses paid by the school. But no, I didn’t make it. Yes, it frustrated me, a lot, I think I must have cried rivers. But life has to go on.
Now I think I’m lost. Lost and felt close to oblivion. Almost every dream was never realized. I never became a psychiatrist. Never became a PMAyer. Never a doctor and not a CPA.
I have become a mother, a wife, a mere employee. So what about that? Nothing. Just like anybody. Just like the majority. I never became somebody I wanted to be. Never became what class prophecies foretold. Never.
Twist or simply fate, I have no idea. All I know is, I am happy and I have every reason to be happy. I may have cried rivers for all the trials, but I have also laughed my loudest. I can never say I am most pitiful because I believe my pains are not the most painful and I couldn’t say I have lived my happiest because I see better lives. It’s my share of life’s colors, the dark and the bright, with shades of lights and pastels = beauty.
I never became somebody I wanted to be, but if you ask, I can share the lessons I have learned.
Lost and forgotten? I don’t think so. I am just here, living life and loving it.
Since I stepped on the Philippine Military Academy in Baguio in February 1990, I sort of, become obsessed at the thought of actually being there and be one of the graduates. I don’t know, but I loved the discipline and the uniform. Always have been a fan of William Shatner’s TJ Hooker. I always had this passion for guns and solving crimes, the action and the adventure and the thrill of playing with death and survival…Unfortunately, I was already four months preggy when the academy turned coed.
After high school, I enrolled in XU BS Biology, because I decided I was going to be a doctor and my parents were more than eager and proud to support me. On my second year, I transferred to Mountain View College, so I’d have all the time to study and give it my best shot. But in 1992, after enjoying the dominance and the recessiveness of heredity subjects, memorizing xylems and the phloems of botany, the mitosis and the meiosis of biology and after dissecting frogs and memorizing unspeakable scientific names, I have to give it up and get married… Kay love man lage…
In 1993, I went back to school, this time in Liceo, enrolling accountancy. Because accountancy requires less memorization but more analysis. Breastfeeding a baby and digging notes on late nights was tough, but I have to do it, or else, I’d end up being a plain housewife, which is simply not me… I can’t be at home all day and just tend to my husband’s needs and care for my baby. I mean, it is a responsibility but I just can’t afford to stay home and be “losyang”. That’s not really the issue, but I just can’t be home and wait for what is going to happen. It’s just not me. I can’t afford the thought of me, waking up in the morning and preparing breakfast, cleaning the house, preparing dinner and washing dishes every day (although I do that now, my way). What I abhor the most was staying idle and be in sessions with idle wives and rumor mongers.
Ever took exams with very high fever? I did. Financial Accounting 1 caused me that, or perhaps the teacher. There was so much pressure with the subject, because it’s the deciding point, the needle’s eye. You can only go on with accountancy if you made it in Financial Accounting 1. If not, there are other courses in tow.
The next year, 1994, I transferred to RMMC in General Santos but continued with accountancy and successfully made it in 1997 with a silver medal for “excellence in accountancy studies”. Wow! Big deal! That was number two from the class (there were two of us) and we (first three) were given a chance to review in Manila for the CPA board exams, the next three in Davao, all expenses paid by the school. But no, I didn’t make it. Yes, it frustrated me, a lot, I think I must have cried rivers. But life has to go on.
Now I think I’m lost. Lost and felt close to oblivion. Almost every dream was never realized. I never became a psychiatrist. Never became a PMAyer. Never a doctor and not a CPA.
I have become a mother, a wife, a mere employee. So what about that? Nothing. Just like anybody. Just like the majority. I never became somebody I wanted to be. Never became what class prophecies foretold. Never.
Twist or simply fate, I have no idea. All I know is, I am happy and I have every reason to be happy. I may have cried rivers for all the trials, but I have also laughed my loudest. I can never say I am most pitiful because I believe my pains are not the most painful and I couldn’t say I have lived my happiest because I see better lives. It’s my share of life’s colors, the dark and the bright, with shades of lights and pastels = beauty.
I never became somebody I wanted to be, but if you ask, I can share the lessons I have learned.
Lost and forgotten? I don’t think so. I am just here, living life and loving it.
what can i say but you have a very fascinating experience...yes, for you, you may have lived and is living an ordinary life but your experiences were not ordinary. they were meant to make the person that you are. what you have shared actually explains the YOU now.
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